1.most successful day, barring the non-committal, and now can hardly keep eyes open. that's me done, then9:41 PM Nov 30th 
2.work. laundry, dishes. more work. sorting out. lunch. so far so good with my day. how's yours?11:15 AM Nov 30th 
3.ok i need the tv freed up for wii fit some time very soon or there'll be no dinner!5:19 PM Nov 29th 
4. http://twitpic.com/rcx62 - walking through chinatown today, reminded again how industrious these peeps are. snow, sun or rain!3:44 PM Nov 28th from TwitPic
5.hilarious http://www.funnyordie.co.uk/videos/5745bb2e87/beatles-3000 - the way time corrupts history, this is actually believable!10:38 AM Nov 28th 
6.Robin found my mouse under the couch. Oh joy. On to a day of work, cleaning, and a short party somewhere in there.8:03 AM Nov 28th 
7.Robin and I think tea solves everything. Oh yes.8:03 AM Nov 28th
8.honestly, where could i have put my mouse? what a weird thing to lose. maybe it will show up in the freezer or whatever10:17 PM Nov 27th 
9.now aren't you happy you know about my exciting life! lol9:00 AM Nov 27th 
10.right then. my new followers get to hear that i am not yet dressed, going to get groceries, cleaning and then having a trendy coffee nearby9:00 AM Nov 27th 
11.my favourite london christmas event: Recapture the magic of Christmas at Geffrye Museumhttp://bit.ly/7Jt00G 
12.a friend is dealing with tragedy and suddenly my own life seems so uncomplicated10:23 PM Nov 26th 
13.happy turkey or tofu shaped like a turkey day to the merkians. i'm having pizza myself but always giving thanks10:24 AM Nov 26th 
14.re india knight's insomnia - it happens. and when it does the more you hate it the worse it feels. just do stuff. use your precious time...even to relax10:51 PM Nov 24th   in reply to indiaknight
15.yes my arm is absolutely killing me and feeling under the weather. still better than the real flu. feel better soon!9:41 PM Nov 24th   in reply to zsl
16.my late dinner arrived and now i have a very late very upset stomach. hopefully not food poisoning but - g r o a n -10:11 PM Nov 23rd 
17.poop. my arm is really sore. advil, do your thing now, ok?8:53 PM Nov 23rd 
18.http://twitpic.com/qnuku - the marks on my arm are her writing what each shot was in case one reacted! i do NOT have weird veins...well, not1:33 PM Nov 23rd from TwitPic
19.http://twitpic.com/qnuku - today i got both flu shots. yes, my arm is sore but so far don't feel any different. oink - who did that?1:32 PM Nov 23rd from TwitPic
20.got a busy day: doctor, purolator, dry cleaner, tailor and home for more (4hrs) work, housework, wii fit - will i get it all done? dinner?7:11 AM Nov 23rd 
21.i already like brussel sprouts but these ones are really yummy. i'm eating a whole big bowl of them.
22.Now eating roasted brussell sprouts with parmesan and almonds but with black sesame seeds instead of nutshttp://bit.ly/3HzHRG7:37 PM Nov 22nd 
23.Day One of Wii Fit. Was more fun and more work than expected and I am embarrassed by by my Wii Fit Age. Stay tuned.7:34 PM Nov 22nd 
24.i prefer ttc tickets anyway since i'm always using tokens thinking they're dimes and losing out3:32 PM Nov 22nd 
25.http://twitpic.com/qjef4 - i know i'm back in chinatown...sigh2:01 PM Nov 22nd from TwitPic
26.http://twitpic.com/qj7gh - hysterical. twice as much food half as much money (in toronto) but should have remembered my own bag1:17 PM Nov 22nd from TwitPic
27.loads to do and absolutely no energy or motivation to do it. i despair but yes suck it up9:40 AM Nov 22nd   in reply to AmberCadabra
28.lethargy owns me today. praying for some energy that isn't caffeine-induced. perhaps a nap? yawn9:39 AM Nov 22nd 
29.haven't had a tree for years. instead have boughs with lights and stuff. easier maintenance in a small space. also a menorah lol6:24 AM Nov 22nd   in reply to Sheamus
30.pepperoni repeats on me and is horrendously salty - this from a dedicated salt lover (to my detriment) but go ahead & love it9:22 PM Nov 21st   in reply to kalynskitchen
31. just made roasted broccoli with sesame again. yum. almost made the brussel sprouts with almonds but no nuts in da house7:52 PM Nov 21st   in reply to kalynskitchen
32.love cold pizza for breakfast but hate pepperoni. my fave is thin wholewheat crust with ricotta and spinach and garlic.7:51 PM Nov 21st   in reply to kalynskitchen
33.pork is marinating vietnamese style, boxes are rapidly being sorted, wii fit is on hold cos i can't get it started, now on to work-work4:54 PM Nov 21st 
34. i finished behaviour of moths (told you) called the sister in the usa. gets progressively creepier. good!4:52 PM Nov 21st   in reply to JohnUp
35.http://twitpic.com/q9kly - a visit to yorkville, where the decorations were starting to look pretty good2:34 PM Nov 20th from TwitPic
36.i was thinking. bloor at spadina - why not turn it into just one GIANT sushi bar? sheesh! 
37.ok who else is awake?? productive day planned. (do i hear an echo in here?)6:37 AM Nov 20th 
38.all in all a great day if soggy. good plans for tomorrow. must keep this up.8:58 PM Nov 19th 
39.a day chock-a-block with things to do. no rest for wicked me11:36 AM Nov 19th 
40.up way too early and snoozing all evening. where's the love?9:38 PM Nov 18th   in reply to kalynskitchen
41.busy day with hospital appointment, salon shopping, buying groceries and getting more cleaning done. woohoo - sunshine motivates me7:45 AM Nov 17th 
42.back from the market. spent a lot on nothing. fun1:39 PM Nov 15th 
43.very tired today. trying to avoid caffeine but will probably give in... lovely sunshine may help boost my energy1:50 PM Nov 14th 
44.Thanks for this to my friend, Leslie -  http://bit.ly/z7ZH912:52 PM Nov 14th 
45.feel guilty for ice cream stress eating, something rarely do. damn their ears for making food such a bad thing! now to bed.10:25 PM Nov 13th 
46.working with my old friend, the task list, again. why am i always hungry when jetlagged? or is it an illusion?8:38 AM Nov 13th 
47. re professions that use big language have more power - doctors and lawyers have known this for centuries of course - incl the illegible handwriting and ridiculous jargon. very clever. the profession that fails at this -- the police whose silly jargon actually makes them seem moronic and so less successful5:13 AM Nov 13th   in reply to JohnUp
48.ok. on track to go to bed at normal toronto-type time. strangely, tho, i still seem to wake up at normal london-type time. no fair8:50 PM Nov 12th 
49.doing a most excellent job on housework but miles to go. still proud of myself. phew10:50 AM Nov 11th from
50.At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. +3:43 AM Nov 11th 
51.oh jetlag why do you love me so much3:04 PM Nov 10th 
52.congee breakfast, vietnamese lunch, loving my time with Robin but feeling pretty sad, to be honest. the sun is nice though
53.ok toronto peeps. i am here in t-dot again. mostly cleaning and unpacking (laundry!!!) but we should meet!3:31 AM Nov 10th 
54.korean food for dinner. how what's for breakfast? italian? chinese? hmmm3:28 AM Nov 10th 
55.bak in grey, mild toronto wondering what i'm doing here realy. gah jet lag6:48 PM Nov 9th 
56.off i go to the airport for my eight (gulp) hour flight. send good thoughts1:45 AM Nov 9th 

Usually I am in London for two months and now I am into the last 7 weeks or so of a longer visit. Funny how this has warped time somewhat.Seven weeks suddenly feels like a very short time. It will be what I make it, of course and I'm making much of it - with three trips planned during the time and a couple of family visits on the list.

Then it's back to Toronto and to Los Angeles (despite the horrific fares - come on with a sale price already!) and back to London in the Spring.

Or to where. I am visiting a bunch of smaller cities this year to see if I could settle in one or if London is the only place for me. I'm longing for a home - somewhere light and airy with my own stuff in it. I never wish time away but it's a long time coming. And then there's Robin's decision - what will it be?

Went to Brighton. Haven't been since I was a kid. Well, that's not true. I went a few years ago but it was just for some rather poor fish and chips and a stick of rock.

Turned out to be a decent place! It's changed. There's a huge artistic and gay community there that have made the place like some immense Queen St West - the part that isn't commercial yet.

Well, I do sometimes. However, who would have thought Peckham had anything interesting going on? Near Peckham Rye rail station, there's a Sri Lankan restaurant. However, I arrived there still full from a pizza lunch - gah, shouldn't have had that much - and the only thing I felt like was ice cream. Wandering down Bellenden Road, I saw a sandwich board advertising home made ice cream and sorbet. Turned out to be The Melange a shop where the owner, Isabelle, makes her frozen concoctions but also makes chocolate in the yummiest flavours and teas and hot chocolate. The picture is of a chilli enfused hot chocolate and it surely must be the same as the one I missed in Paris from Angelina when i ran out of time. This is very thick, slightly sweet and if you must order the large, do so at your own risk. I also had some very refreshing pear and ginger sorbet - Isabelle, I could have it even a bit less sweet but that's me. Now, why at your own risk? Well, it's filling and it's probably calorific and you will find yourself hopeless addicted and with a chocolate high. (What me drunk, ossifer? Nooooooooooo, honestly. Giggle.) I also came away with some chocolate (almost all eaten now, I confess) - I chose orange and chilli, and lemon and lavender, the latter the sexiest tasting chocolate ever! See the website for all the flavours. Isabelle is charming and helpful and obviously passionate about her craft. I do hope I can go back for a workshop. Now, Isabelle, about your decor? Hmmm. I think you need a facelift that shows off your magnificent talent and personality - want a hand?

(So, anyway, Bellenden Road away from the madding crowds of Africans doing their own thing - wow, that was quite an education, and a loud and exuberant one! - turns out to be a very chic and funky enclave. Who would have thunk it???) map here

....and vowing again to write more, message less. Email, Facebook and Twitter have robbed me of long sentences. Tis sad.

If it weren't for the pictures, this street could be the one I grew up on. I made Al laugh the other day talking about my childhood. It came about because a Canadian friend, who lives in London for now, told me not to come back because it had become so "grim." I held back and let loose - I was born into a two room home - there were four of us by the time I was two - we slept in one of the rooms. The stove was on the landing. There was no water up there. Two floors down there was cold water in my grandmother's "scullery" (aka small kitchen) and a kettle to boil it in. The toilet was in the back yard, a dark place. There was a zinc tub hanging on a nail in the yard and this came in so we could have a bath in front of the fire (once a week probably and when one got out, another got in, refreshing the water with another kettle). The tub also served as a washing tub before we got glamorous and bought a "copper" (look it up!) - the scrubbing board hung right next to the tub - and we used a big block of soap. When I say 'we,' I mean my mum and grandmother of course, although I loved to mimic. I still remember the lovely smell even if it doesn't match the fragrances of laundry products today.

So yes, the bottom line answer to my friend was a short version of what I just typed and added to that - compared to that, London today is not grim, it's a paradise. And I'll add for posterity that I don't remember ever being unhappy.

Now I may have written this before in another blog post but it always bears repeating. Being here brings back these memories very starkly and I think the loss of mum is felt more keenly. My dad was here for a while in May and I miss him terribly now.

So tomorrow morning I am flying to London on the early flight and I'm going alone. For the whole of this week I have been sad that R is not coming with me and I've found myself crying with self pity and fear. Part of me wants to do this alone, have a break, and find a place in the universe for just myself...where I am not needed, just loved cos sometimes I feel R needs me and it's nothing to do with love. I just want him to be happy and realise how much he can manage alone and how strong and talented he really is. And maybe with me always here to sweep up after and for him, he can't realise that potential. But I also hope that after a while he decides he wants to make his home near me because, although I know he relies on me, I don't think he realises how much I rely on him. He's the most special thing in my life and I love him dearly. No number of miles can come between us.

I think this is enough soppy sentimentalism now. Being a mum is a very tough thing. Very.

Today is Ada Lovelace Day and I pledged to blog about Ada.

Who is she? Well, I skim read and I skim listen (maybe even skim write) but what I do know about her was that she was the legitimate daughter of Byron (yes, swoon, that Byron) but she also wrote computer code - quoting Wikipedia "She is today appreciated as the "first programmer" since she was writing programs—that is, manipulating symbols according to rules—for a machine that Babbage had not yet built. She also foresaw the capability of computers to go beyond mere calculating or number-crunching while others, including Babbage himself, focused only on these capabilities."

I could talk about what that means to me as a woman and as a woman in technology but I will depart from that. I heard about Ada from a good friend and talented designer, Jennifer Morris. Way back in what might have been 1994 or 5 I decided to volunteer for a wonderful group of women called the Toronto Webgrrls and that's where I met 'Jam.' I didn't think I knew enough about technology but I did know something about volunteering and writing and the srength of women through working with ICEA - even that was not my first virtual team .... but I digress.

The women I have met through ICEA, through the defunct CEA, through Women's College Hospital and then through Webgrrls, DigitalEve (on two continents) and Lilith Rising have taught me what real friendship and dedication really is. Years after leaving these organizations, I still have steadfast friends, women I trust and admire. If I named them, I would be sure to miss one and that would hurt them and me too.

So all I can say is thank you, Ada, thank you, women of the world, of my world! You rock.

I have to guiltily confess that I enjoy reading the celeb twitters even more than my friends'. (Although the newly found connection to my brother's life is a joy.) I'm a hopeless groupie and sleb whore, I guess. Turns out that they are pretty ordinary in many ways, which is fabulous to know, but at the same time have the money and time allotted to do and tell about some amazing things they have going on in their privileged lives. As long as it's not done boastfully I just enjoy the ride and live a little vicariously. And who knew Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) could inspire me??? Good lord, that's a shock. Enjoy reading things like this from Boris Johnson - mayor of London (@mayorlondon) a couple of weeks back "Got told off for riding my bike in city hall." It's just plain fun and voyeurism takes on a whole new meaning.

I'm @calamityto

I went to a really good cookery class - Vietnamese cooking - at Calphalon in Toronto. It was like being pampered except I had to work. OMG the utensils and knives and gadgets and cookware and so on... I totally enjoyed myself and it was worth the $130 cos they fed us and I had enough for yesterday's evening snack and today's lunch too.

Things are stressful. I found out I have sleep apnea and now I have to have all these new things to think about and keep me from booking my damned ticket. And R isn't committing to anything yet either so it's not like I can even know whether I am using Plan A or Plan B. However, my worker came over today and we at least mapped out A and B, which was tremendously helpful. Then I spent the rest of the day shivering with a hot water bottle...no, not productive.

Going to cook dinner in a minute and probably some back up food too to put in the fridge for R to eat when I'm not staying here. Sometimes I wonder if this level of dedication is a good thing and I also wonder about my own dependence issues.

I had a thought about the stress. I am visualising dominoes -- each domino represents an obstacle/challenge and each one will fall and push the next one down. I just have to keep pushing that first domino. And, you know, no matter how difficult any situation is, time does pass, things do happen, tomorrow will almost always come and there you have it - it's done.

Envy!